My feelings on a healthy, full term pregnancy and delivery.

Its been a while since I wrote a blog post and decided to take advantage of Eli and Kevy being out and Nathaniel asleep to give writing a go! Lately I have been thinking about how I felt about my body after I had my first son, Kevin. I felt like my body had let me down in many ways. I developed pre-eclampsia at 32 weeks, and I was on hospital bed rest for two weeks after that. I was bordering on major organ failure according to the blood tests I had done every 12 hours. So my first son was "evicted" at 34 weeks at 3 pounds, 10.5 ounces. He was so not ready to be born but my placenta couldn't last another day for him. He was in the fourth percentile for growth. I felt like I let him down and my body failed both of us. I did not look like myself at all as I had gained a lot of weight and was majorly swollen all over. This time around I gained less weight and carried my pregnancy to term. My blood pressure was very healthy except when I was in labor. I attributed my higher numbers to the immense pain I was in at the time. I feel really good about the changes my body went through to have a healthy full term baby. My body seems to be recovering better this time around. I was sore for a week or so but overall feel like my body did its job and I feel good about it. I'm even enjoying the extra curves from the remaining baby weight. I was obsessed with losing the baby weight the first time around, like I was ashamed of what happened to me. This time around, I'm not even thinking about it. I'm just enjoying spending time with my boys. I really appreciate having a full term baby after having a preemie. Kevin spent 15 days in the NICU. Nathaniel roomed in with me for two nights while we both rested and got acclimated to breast feeding. I latched him the first day. It took five days to attempt to latch Kevin and a couple more days to get it right. I know that the hospital frowns on co-sleeping but no one said a word when I brought Nathaniel into the bed with me. My favorite is when I get to snuggle with both my boys. Its tricky as Kevy has lots of energy and Nathaniel is so young. I'm excited to watch them grow together and interact. Kevin loves bringing me items for the baby as well as talking to him. Its really sweet!

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