"What's wrong with your milk?"
When I decided to breastfeed, it was not to make a statement or to make anyone else feel bad. I didn't know how long I would breastfeed or even if I could be successful with it. It was simply what I felt in my heart was the right decision for my family. We hit quite a few bumps in the road when we began our breastfeeding journey. My son was six weeks premature, a mere three pounds and had a 15 day stint in the NICU. While in the NICU, he was on a set schedule that included pacifiers, bottles of pumped breast milk and scheduled touch times every three hours. He was also away from me for over 24 hours while I healed from surgery and was on magnesium sulfate for my extremely high blood pressure. He didn't eat for his first 48 hours of life and when they did feed him it was through an NG tube. He didn't digest it at first so we had to wait another day. On his fourth day of life he finally started drinking 3cc's of colostrum every three hours.
They discharged Kevin from the hospital when he reached four pounds, and tried sending us home with a can of preemie formula. I was told to add a quarter of a teaspoon of formula to every bottle of my pumped milk. I said to the doctors and nurses after these instructions, "I want to breast feed." Their response was to increase the amount of formula and pump a bottle for every other feed. So rather than feed my baby on demand I was told I needed to add extra calories to my milk via the formula. I did this a handful of times and finally said screw this and fed my son on demand. He grew and thrived quickly on my milk. It was amazing to watch. When I did follow their instructions, pumping meant a minimum of twice the work. I had to pump twice for every bottle he had in order to keep up my supply and not become engorged. When I wasn't pumping I was feeding him a bottle. It was so much better when I switched to feeding from the tap on demand.
Around this time my mother started visiting and "helping" with my son. At first she was supportive of breastfeeding but over time she made her feelings known. Anytime Kevin was fussy she'd ask me what was wrong with my milk. And when she saw his bowel movements she assumed he was sick rather than knowing it was that of a healthy breastfed baby. She'd ask me how long I planned to nurse him, as if there needed to be a deadline. She would push rice cereal and solids every time she came to visit. She would remind me that she felt he was nursing too long if he started asking for my milk or pulling at my shirt. It was exhausting and he wasn't even six months old. I had to stop solids when he became constipated and that really drove her crazy. It was so stressful being around her. I never felt support in my parenting decisions. In fact, she made me feel like I was a bad mother because I wanted to hold him and nurse him. She was jealous when he was only content in my arms. It was strange. And I heard her refer to herself as Kevin's "mother" on more than one occasion.
Now I am a La Leche League leader and I know that I am not alone in my experiences. Many breastfeeding mothers have to deal with uninformed statements from well-meaning family and friends. I know that some people feel that I talk about this subject too much. This bothered me at first but I realized that I can't let other people's feelings dictate how I feel about myself. My goal is to educate people. I didn't personally know many breastfeeding mothers. My mother formula fed all three of her children. I knew nothing about breastfeeding at all. In fact, I always assumed I would formula feed as well. So I know how important support and education are. La Leche League is full of amazing and supportive mommas. They have become some of my greatest friends and I can honestly say that joining LLL changed my life.
They discharged Kevin from the hospital when he reached four pounds, and tried sending us home with a can of preemie formula. I was told to add a quarter of a teaspoon of formula to every bottle of my pumped milk. I said to the doctors and nurses after these instructions, "I want to breast feed." Their response was to increase the amount of formula and pump a bottle for every other feed. So rather than feed my baby on demand I was told I needed to add extra calories to my milk via the formula. I did this a handful of times and finally said screw this and fed my son on demand. He grew and thrived quickly on my milk. It was amazing to watch. When I did follow their instructions, pumping meant a minimum of twice the work. I had to pump twice for every bottle he had in order to keep up my supply and not become engorged. When I wasn't pumping I was feeding him a bottle. It was so much better when I switched to feeding from the tap on demand.
Around this time my mother started visiting and "helping" with my son. At first she was supportive of breastfeeding but over time she made her feelings known. Anytime Kevin was fussy she'd ask me what was wrong with my milk. And when she saw his bowel movements she assumed he was sick rather than knowing it was that of a healthy breastfed baby. She'd ask me how long I planned to nurse him, as if there needed to be a deadline. She would push rice cereal and solids every time she came to visit. She would remind me that she felt he was nursing too long if he started asking for my milk or pulling at my shirt. It was exhausting and he wasn't even six months old. I had to stop solids when he became constipated and that really drove her crazy. It was so stressful being around her. I never felt support in my parenting decisions. In fact, she made me feel like I was a bad mother because I wanted to hold him and nurse him. She was jealous when he was only content in my arms. It was strange. And I heard her refer to herself as Kevin's "mother" on more than one occasion.
Now I am a La Leche League leader and I know that I am not alone in my experiences. Many breastfeeding mothers have to deal with uninformed statements from well-meaning family and friends. I know that some people feel that I talk about this subject too much. This bothered me at first but I realized that I can't let other people's feelings dictate how I feel about myself. My goal is to educate people. I didn't personally know many breastfeeding mothers. My mother formula fed all three of her children. I knew nothing about breastfeeding at all. In fact, I always assumed I would formula feed as well. So I know how important support and education are. La Leche League is full of amazing and supportive mommas. They have become some of my greatest friends and I can honestly say that joining LLL changed my life.
Comments
Post a Comment